Obedience

I had a major moment over the weekend regarding my "picky eating" and obedience.  They collided.

The word "obedience" has been slapping me across the face over the past couple of weeks.  It has been showing up everywhere.  In every book, every study, every scripture, every message and every conversation.  So I impose the question, "what am I being disobedient in?"

I feel like my life is pretty balanced right now.  Marriage.  Career.  Fitness.  Friends.  Family.  Church.  Volunteering.  Quiet time.

Well, I started a study called "Gideon" by Priscilla Shirer.  It's about finding your weaknesses in God's strength.  Mostly about obedience.  It only took one chapter for me to finally figure out my disobedience.

There are so many God things that happened on Friday night that I couldn't possibly explain.  Austin (husband) and my dog were out of town.  This allowed me to have a distraction free night and to be able to focus on myself fully.  I wasn't going to even do this study that night, but my friend LaRonda had encouraged me to tune into a live event, which then motivated me to start my study.  Throughout the beginning, I kept tearing up but never went into a full out cry.

Priscilla kept making points in Gideon's story that were similar to mine.  For example, she writes, "Israel was making decisions based on their limited supplies instead of the boundless resources of their God."  For me, I was making decisions on my limited food options instead of the boundless resources of my God.  She then talks about how they chose comfort instead of commitment and not obeying God Completely.  Why was I complacent in my "picky food journey?" Why was I happy with how far I've come instead of how far I can go with God?  I wanted to choose commitment.  Full on obedience.  Partial obedience is always a temptation and that was exactly where I was stuck.

She kept going deeper and this last nugget is what sent me into full blown cry session.  "When God's Spirit asks us to eliminate something from our lives, we shouldn't play around with His direction.  He sees the future effects of leftover enemies.  Take him seriously.  Fully engage in the task at hand." This got me good!  Honest talk: I have been eating poorly the last couple of weeks.  Before that it was partial obedience.  I had good moments, but with no consistency.  I've been feeling my body tell me warnings.  I would eat terrible or something high in sugar and my body would react negatively.  Something physical would happen - - either a weird heart pump or a shooting pain.  I knew in my heart and head that was God telling me, "Don't play.  Stop it.  I'm warning you."  This passage above made me question why would I want to mess around with God's message.  He's always right.  He always has my best interest at heart.  If I'm not my best, I cannot maximize my mission for Him.

So I repented.

I got on my knees, full tears and all (it was the ugly face cry for sure) and prayed.  I prayed aloud confessing how disobedient I had been.  I thanked Him for his mercy, grace and patience. After that, I felt a sense of peace.  Freedom.  Because I had come clean to the One who already knew it all, I could start form a genuine place of obedience.

Later, I had a discussion with my good friend Hannah.  (It's always a good idea to have God-centered friendships.  They can help you in times like this.)  What I learned from my conversation with her is that my bigger issue isn't food.  It's control.  I've always wanted control.  I'm a take-charge-independent woman.  And that's not necessarily a bad thing.  It's what has helped make me a great leader, successful soccer player and business woman.  But my over-control for right now, with food, is a lack of obedience towards God.

Going forward, every victory I have (food, fitness, etc), I need to give the glory to God.  These victories, for me, will come through my obedience towards Him.  I need to be faithful, prayerful and intentional with my decisions.  God is an amazing God.

This weekend Austin and I sat down and made a food plan for the week.  I am going to stretch outside of my comfort zone and try some new things.  This morning I woke up and made breakfast.  I have some sausage bits in an egg, strawberries and chocolate milk.  This is huge!  Combining ingredients is not an easy task for the picky.

I don't want to hear all the health critics out there telling me how bad sausage is or how much sugar milk has.  All I care about is how obedient I was.  And I was.

I'm excited to see God's promises fulfilled through my obedience.  #LessonsFromGideon.

Spiritual Space

I attended a Priscilla Shirer simulcast this past weekend.  She always knows how to deliver a message (I highly suggest seeing her speak and/or reading her books.)  There were many take aways from this event, but one of my main learning nugget was:

"And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord." - Deuteronomy 8:3

I learned that I needed to be intentional about being in God's word.  No matter how little of time I might have, I need to be in his word. I needed a dedicated space not only be in his word, but to be prayerful.  Of course, you can do this anywhere, but I wanted a spiritual space.

Priscilla gave us some tools to work through His word better.  She referred to them as the 5 P's of Bible Study.

1. POSITION yourself to hear from God.  You should come with an anticipation and an expectation of God.  Make sure there's silence and solitude to focus on the word.  (Again, I needed that spiritual space.)
2. PORE over the passage and paraphrase the major points.
3. PULL out the spiritual principles.  What does the passage mean?
4. POSE the question.  
5. PLAN obedience and pin down the date. 

Here's what mine looked like when reading through Deuteronomy 8:2-6 and using the bible study tactics from above:

(pore)
v. 2: God will text us and see what we do.
v. 3: We will experience humility.  We do not live on food (bread) alone, but on God's word.
v. 4: Things that would normally change over 40 years didn't (clothing).
v. 5: We are God's children and he disciplines us, just as we are supposed to be disciplined in His word.
v. 6: He disciplines use because he loves us.  We are to walk in His word and fear him.

(pull - spiritual principle)
We must be disciplined in His word because that's what we spiritually live on.

(pose)
Am I disciplined in the word of God?  Am I going deeper than surface level?

(plan)
No matter how small, find time in the word of God.  Make room.  Be prayerful and be intentional.

So here's waht I got here.  This is my Spiritual Space and done on a budget.  I will give tips on how we did it.  Some of it we already had.  Look around your house for resources that you can either use differently, or that you haven't used in a while.

WHAT WE HAD:  We already had the chair.  It's from Ikea.  We have 6 at our dinning table and I just moved one upstairs.  The purple pillow is from the guest best set that's in the room.  The computer, the wicker boxes (Crate & Barrel) and the pen carousel we already had.

THE DESK:  It's called Linnmon from Ikea (click here).  We got  the table and 5 legs for $69.  This is a "corner" desk, they do have other options and leg options.  It's a mix and match type of set up.

DECOR: To add a pop of color I added the flower on the left.  The vase ($1.99) and sparkly beads int the vase ($1.99) are from Ikea.  We found the flowers at JoAnn's Fabrics.  (FYI there's a 60% and 40% off one item coupon on their website.)  You want to add a pop of color.

I look forward to using this Spiritual Space for reading the word, praying and working on bible studies.